Going to Egypt

A couple of days ago I was reading in Genesis chapter 42-45 and this morning I felt that I should re-read these chapters.  While my mindset was that I had already been over this, I asked God why I needed to read these chapters again I received that gentle prodding, “read it again”.

Chapter 42 begins with Jacob telling his sons that they needed to go back to Egypt and get more grain, due to the famine.  An argument took place between Judah and his father about going back without Benjamin, which Jacob was extremely hesitant to do.  Judah said he would NOT go back without Benjamin due to what Joseph (though the brothers did not know it was Joseph at this time) had told them.  In vs 3-5, Judah tells his father “The man specifically warned us: ‘You will not see me again unless your brother is with you.’  If you will send our brother with us, we will go down and buy food for you.  But if you will not send him, we will not go, for the man said to, ‘You will not wee me again unless your brother is with you’”.

There is a great deal of agony on Jacob’s part also but he finally gives in when Judah steps up and promises, upon his and his family’s lives, that Benjamin will be safe.  I can even feel the frustration in Judah when in vs 10 says “If we had not wasted time, we could have come back twice by now.”  Thus the journey back to Egypt begins, and through the rest of this chapter and the ones that follow we see, not without some more drama, the redemption that Joseph offered his family. 

As I meditated on the passages it struck me. Judah, his brothers and even Jacob were all living their lives in regret and fear due to the events that had transpired over the years.  Judah and his brothers were still hiding in the lies of what they had done to Joseph,  and Jacob in fear of losing his sons, thus corrupting their relationship with God.  They were stuck in their present situation, famine and in need of food.  Thinking on this I wondered how different the reactions of Jacob and his sons had would have been if the events and actions of this family had been more in line with God.

Then came the revelation, how many times due to guilt, fear or uncertainty have I not gone in the direction God wanted me to go?  How many times was I like the brothers did I shrink in fear because of something I had done in the past, or like Jacob lived in fear of not pursuing God’s will because of what “might happen to my sons”?  Then I realized, for all that Judah had done he finally stood up and went in the right direction, in a way, taking responsibility for his past action’s (and those of his brothers) and went on the journey, fully counting the cost if things did not work out.  I find myself at that same juncture… taking responsibility for my actions, confessing my sin, fears and doubts to God and begin my journey back to “Egypt”. How much time have I wasted in not pursuing God as we all should (could have “…come back twice by now”)?  In a nutshell, I need to trust God for what is going to do and allow him to guide me on that journey.

What is or where is “Egypt”?  Do not know but need to head that way so I might hear those words from God similar what Joseph said to his brothers… “Don’t be afraid, …….You planned evil against me; God planned it for good to bring about the present result…….” (Paraphrase of Gen. 50: 20).